Taming Networking Nerves
15 Actionable Confidence Boosters and Tips for Making Meaningful Connections
Walking up to a stranger or sending that LinkedIn message can feel nerve-wracking. Palms sweaty? Mind blank? Totally normal. Lots of people (even pros!) feel awkward networking. Recognizing that is step one. This guide is going to walk you through why networking feels so weird, and what you can do to feel more confident!
Why Does Networking Feel So… Stressful?
Let’s take a minute to acknowledge what’s going on that’s contributing to your networking nerves:
Fear of Judgment: "What if I say something dumb?" "What if they think I'm not smart enough?" That fear of being rejected or looking silly is super common, even among professionals.
"Stranger Danger" Vibes: Just approaching someone you don't know can trigger that internal alarm bell ingrained in you since pre-school.
Feeling Fake: Sometimes networking gets a bad rap for feeling transactional or pushy. You worry about seeming desperate instead of genuine. Or you wonder if people are just being polite when they agree to talk with you.
Imposter Syndrome: Ever feel like you don't belong in a "professional" setting? Like you're just a kid who somehow snuck in and everyone can tell? That's imposter syndrome, and it's a confidence killer.
"What Do I Even Say?": Uncertainty is stressful! Not knowing how to start, what questions to ask, or how to keep the conversation going can ramp up anxiety.
Online Overwhelm: Scrolling through polished LinkedIn profiles can sometimes make you feel less adequate (hello, comparison trap!). Plus, the pressure to have the "perfect" online presence adds another layer of stress. Just lurking online doesn't build the skills or confidence that active engagement does.
Confidence isn't about not feeling nervous; it's about having strategies to manage it. Confidence comes from doing… one small step at a time. We’re going to go through 3 key areas that will help you build that confidence: Preparation, Mindset, and Action.
Make Preparation Your Superpower!
Here are 4 easy ways to feel more prepared:
1. Do a Little Recon: If you're going to an event or reaching out to someone specific, spend 5-10 minutes Googling them or the company. Knowing a little bit helps you ask better questions and shows you're interested.
2. Practice Your Intro (Just a Bit): Have a simple, 30-second "elevator pitch" ready:
"Hi, I'm [Your Name], a [Your Year] at [Your School] interested in [Field/Topic]. I was hoping to learn more about..."
Practice it so it feels natural, not memorized.
3. Have 2-3 Questions Ready: Open-ended questions (starting with "How," "What," "Tell me about...") keep the conversation flowing and take the focus off you. Here are a few you can try:
"How did you get started in this field?"
"What's a typical day like in your role?"
"What do you enjoy most about what you do?"
4. Set a Micro-Goal: Instead of "Network effectively," or “Find a job,” aim for something small and achievable: "Introduce myself to one new person" or "Learn one thing about marketing careers." Small wins build momentum.
Shift Your Mindset!
Are you putting too much pressure on yourself? Remember…
It's Exploration, Not a Test: Remind yourself the goal is to learn and connect, not to perform perfectly or land a job on the spot.
Focus Outward: Networking isn’t all about you. Be genuinely curious about the other person. Ask questions, listen intently. People usually love talking about themselves!
It’s OK to Embrace Imperfection: Awkward pause? Fumbled words? It happens! Laugh it off (internally or externally) and see it as part of the learning curve.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Believe you can get better at this with practice. Treat every interaction is a learning opportunity.
Start with these small steps, and start building your confidence:
Take Action!
Warm Up with Friendly Faces: Start by practicing conversations with people you know – teachers, family friends. Ask them about their careers.
Online Baby Steps: If IRL feels too much right now, start online. Comment thoughtfully on a relevant LinkedIn post. Send a personalized connection request to an alum from your school.
One Person Rule: At an event with lots of strangers? Just aim to talk to ONE new person. That's it. Success!
Buddy System: Go with a friend! It can make walking into a room or starting a chat feel less daunting.
Deep Breaths: Seriously, taking a few slow, deep breaths before you walk in or hit "send" can calm your nervous system.
Listen Actively: Focus hard on understanding what the other person is saying, instead of immediately trying to think of your own response. Before you respond, recap what you heard them say out loud, “Wow, it sounds like you work with a great team on some very interesting projects.” Then you can follow up with a related question, or share your own relevant insight. “What do you think makes your team successful?” or “I am working on something similar and the best part has been…”
Have an Exit Plan: Knowing you can politely excuse yourself ("It was great talking, I need to grab some water/find my friend" or “Thank you for your time, I’m sure there are other people here you would like to connect with, so I’ll let you go”) can make you feel less trapped.
Confidence isn't instant. It's built by taking these small, manageable "micro-steps," proving to yourself you can do it, and celebrating those small wins. You’ve got this. Now, go talk to people!